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Author Topic: The New Year - A Year of Possibilities (A New Perspective?)  (Read 827 times)
SusanW
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« on: December 28, 2011, 04:43:47 PM »

Parents often tell us that the New Year signifies for them nothing more than another year they are starting without their child--that it is but a reminder that a whole new year is starting with 365 days in front of them without their child.

All of us who work with griefHaven and who have had our child die have seen many New Years come and go. In fact, one of us has seen 30 New Years come and go! And we all felt that same way for a very long time--that yet another 365 days loomed out in front of us without our child here to share in our lives. In talking this over, we realized that we had all reached the same place on our journey at some point, and that when we reached that point, it was a major turning point for each one of us. You see, at some point (and it was different for each one of us) we all decided that we wanted to change the way we viewed the upcoming years, for it was simply too painful to see those New Years every single year, year after year, for the rest of our lives as nothing more than a reference point of yet another 365 days without our child.  Ugh. 

Eventually what we have all done is start to see the next year as a year that also includes a lot of other positive possibilities that we have yet to experience, hope will come into fruition, etc. For instance, I as the founder and president of griefHaven began thinking of each new year as a whole bunch of new opportunities to imagine, create, and bring to fruition even more love, hope and support for grieving families. This was especially important to me because Erika is our only child. Another mother here looks at each new year as the year she will fall in love again, as she was recently divorced after her child’s death.  One of our couples sees each new year as an unbelievable experience of watching their other son grow into a man, starting college last year,  and now producing and acting in stage plays--something that was a big surprise to his mom and dad. And yet another father sees each new year as the year he gets to spend with his grandchildren who are getting older, and he is also excited about his own nonprofit that is helping bring greater funding to schools and teachers, hoping his new ideas will help it flourish even more.  And so it goes on like that.

We wouldn't for one second say you should deny the true feelings and thoughts you have about the new year. No way! We also still think about another year in front of us without our child, yet by adding this one element to that thought--that there is at least this one thing (maybe you have even more) you care about doing or changing, this one thing you want to start, or this one thing that is really meaningful to you, then the new year will also mark another 365 days of not just "dread," but also genuine "possibilities" and “hope.”

And THAT, our friends, is something to actually have in front of you to look forward to. Hey! If you get a chance, send us what some of those are for you, and we will post them on our Facebook page.  Be sure to check out our Facebook page regularly to see what we are up to and what might be coming your way.
Write to us at hope@griefHaven.org.
So without saying "happy," we'll just say:

May your new year be filled with possibilities that are meaningful to you.

We love you. We care about you. We are always here for you.

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