griefHaven Forum - Where hope resides

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Author Topic: Anyone Around?  (Read 2022 times)
Debbie
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« on: April 07, 2011, 12:32:33 PM »

I would love to know if there is anyone else out there in this world who is missing their loved one as much as i am today. I feel so alone. Cry  My daughter died 10 years ago today, she would have been 17 today. Her name was Sarah Louise.
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Brendans daddy
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« Reply #1 on: April 08, 2011, 07:35:04 AM »

Hi Debbie.  I am out in this cruel world missing my son.  My little boy Brendan was 7 years old when he died in a terrible accident on December 4, 2010.  My world has been shattered.  Brendan was my son and best little buddy.  I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter Sarah Louise.  It looks like she was 7 years old as well.  I don't think I will ever be the same again.  My Brendan has been gone for 125 days and I have cried for him every day at least 20 times per day.  I am so sorry you are feeling so alone today.  My thoughts and prayers are with you. 

Tony - Brendan's Daddy
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Debbie
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« Reply #2 on: April 08, 2011, 11:17:29 AM »

Hi Tony - Thanks for answering me. Its helpful and comforting to know that you understand. The sun is shining today....sigh
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Peggi
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« Reply #3 on: April 10, 2011, 07:52:58 AM »

Sometimes I think it is harder when the sun is shining and spring has sprung because we feel so much more out of step with what is going on around us.  I am so very sorry for your loss of Sarah Louise; these anniversaries have such power.  I gather from what I read that our grief will never go away but we can get to a place where it is easier to bear.  I hope at ten years you have at least some days when that is the case.  But her birthday?  I would imagine not.
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June
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« Reply #4 on: April 10, 2011, 07:12:47 PM »

Its scared me when i read your message - its been 10 years for you and you are still in pain. I can not take it - im sure.
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Peggi
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« Reply #5 on: April 12, 2011, 05:42:56 AM »

I believe you can take it, June, I believe you can.  I don't know if this helps you or not, but what sometimes helps me is to think of all the other parents on this planet who have had to endure the same thing.  Millions of them.  I think of those parents I know from my support groups....and those parents who have written so many books....and those parents on the GriefHaven's DVD...and those parents I know on line.  Sometimes, just focusing on the other surviving parents helps me.  Helps me think I have to do it too.  I can also recommend Harold Kushner's book When Bad Things Happen to Good People; he, too, was a bereaved parent. 
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Debbie
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« Reply #6 on: April 12, 2011, 09:20:20 PM »

Sorry to be discouraging June - it has been 10 years and it does still hurt but ...im still here.
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Peggi
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« Reply #7 on: April 13, 2011, 07:26:32 AM »

Katie Couric was interviewed today about her new book and mentioned advice that suggests instead of saying "I can't do this" (which I imagine most of us have felt at one time or the other), we might trying saying, "I'm having trouble with this."  OK, lots of trouble.  Huge trouble.  But maybe we can look at it that way instead of believing we can't.  We don't want to.  But what choice do we have?
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Josephs-Mommy
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« Reply #8 on: April 17, 2011, 08:07:05 AM »

We are here each new day living. I wish I could shine hope in your heavy, devastated hearts that at some point along your pain filled  journey you might choose to realize you are alive. You are still alive and you are here. Your life as you knew it before ended, but not over, unless you choose to stop living.

I was absolutely lost, devastated and wanting to not live for almost 3 years. I was unable to see the gifts of my own still here as Kim, not Josephs mommy 24/7. I wobbled, avoided and stayed in a profound space of not grateful or seeing the gifts of my own journey still needing to unfold. Slowly time provided the light that I knew I had to reinvent me. Wounds, lessons unlike anyone we meet on a daily basis has experienced except us here living this nightmare.
One day I realized I have nothing worse to go thru. That is actually glass half full to me. I can live each day knowing there is nothing worse to deal with ever.
I hope now each day to find the places and spaces that I can beautify by bringing me into the world as open, honest, deep, intense and real as I am 24/7 in identifying what matters, what is important and what fits me for this new day. Parenting myself now, since I am not raising any other child - is the reality that I am dealing with how to grow, spread my own gifts and focus on why I am still alive. I say to myself each morning - I am alive. I am still needed to be here for some yet to unfold reason. Then the day begins and the gifts begin to unfold by remaining open.
I wallowed, wrote, prayed, took myself very low before I returned to the reality I am alive.

I am not perfect - I know too much now, I am as authentic to anyone who crosses my path everywhere.

None of us are alone ever. Our children and other loved ones that died before us are energetically shining the comfort and earth angels our way. I firmly believe this now more than i ever ever understood before.
i send you peace, hope and guidance you try to be open to the gifts of the universe today. Honor your dreams, share your dreams and think of the success you would like to have today.
With love ---
Kim
INVITING SPACES BY KIM

Creating Inviting Spaces For Anytime of Day



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