To our beautiful, sweet little Megan,
We thought that we would never survive the days, months, and now the years that have passed since that tragic day when you left us. Time has passed, and the raw, suppressive pain that overpowered every breath has lessened and become more manageable. Even now, though, it is not difficult to summon the heartache. We know it will be that way forever. We have now made a new choice after so much pain- we are now trying to choose to live our lives with hope-hope that, as we continue through time without you, we will move forward and live meaningful lives.
We believe that you "know" that we think about you every day. You brought so much joy to our lives during your fourteen years with us. From the time you were born, we were blessed with your sweet and easy temperament. You were a loving and protective sister to your twin brothers. There was never a sign of jealousy over the attention they attracted. Even as you grew older, the boys always felt your love.
You were just developing into your own person when you died, and we have missed so much not seeing you grow into a mature woman. You were given the gift of skill to master competitions and the stage. Even though you were shy, you rose to outstanding heights. At age eight, we gave you two batons, and six months later you were awarded "best twirler" over 150 other girls, mostly older than you. At age eleven, it was an "all around" state championship in gymnastics. Your performance that day was breathtaking! Everyone who knew you was thrilled because you had such a determined, intense, and tireless work ethic. In the summer before high school, the eight-time state championship, coed cheerleading team asked the high school to waive a long-time rule for the competitive team. After all, it seemed unreasonable to ban a talented freshman from the team who could offer so much to the upcoming season.
You were humble, concerned about everyone else, and demanded the best from yourself. There was a sparkle of realization beginning to surface that you could accomplish anything if you believed in yourself. We found your list of goals in your belongings after the car accident, and number 23 on that list said, ". . . and anything else I can dream." It was underlined and signed!
And then the dream was over.
Living your accomplishments with you was exciting, fun, and part of what our everyday lives were. Remembering your achievements as we write makes us proud, but also leaves an emptiness. Without you here to share the memories, and without the "what happens next," all of the awards mean nothing. Without you little Meggie, the most significant event in our entire lives means that you are no longer here.
After thinking about you the way we have the last few days, it is difficult not to bargain with God once again: "We've suffered the grief, and we've endured the most painful levels of sadness imaginable. At times it seems as if it is time for you to give her back. So how about one more day with her? Or just an hour? Oh, another hour would be so wonderful. Or please, just ten more seconds. A hug? Just a touch? We'll even take just a glance-anything rather than just a memory. It's just not enough."
Even though we have survived and do experience some joy in our lives, marbled in with what seems to be a relatively normal life are veins of sadness that will forever keep us from being the family we were before you left us.
And so we remember you, Megan, with your gigantic eyes, freckled nose, and tiny blonde curls that framed your face when you were warm. We remember your determination, intensity, strength, vulnerability, grace, sense of humor, kindness, and most of all your love. We love you Meg. We love you Megan. We love you Meggie. Until we die, we will remember you with love.
Mom and Daddy