Renee' Shatz-Amdur
1969 - 2005

Renee' Shatz-Amdur passed away on Sunday, November 20, 2005 after a four-year battle with breast cancer. She was only 36 years old, and our only child. She was diagnosed one year after she was married, and never had any children. This letter was read at Renee's funeral from us, her parents:

Dearest Renee’,

You came into our lives on a beautiful fall day in October. You weighed only about seven pounds, but had a very strong set of lungs! Through the years we noticed how much you cared about people, and never tired of talking to them. We would get notes from your teachers asking us to please “encourage” you not to talk so much in class.

Your Uncle Stu knew you before you were ever born, and was your “second Dad” throughout your life. Your relationship was wonderful to watch, and your love for each other deepened with the years.

You grew up so fast. You wanted a traditional Bat Mitzvah, a Shabbat dinner on a Friday night. Then your Sweet Sixteen, proms, graduations and college. You met your best friend Sheryl in high school. Your lives were very different, but the two of you remained best friends for over 20 years.

You and Robyn met through both sets of parents. Neither of you thought you would ever be friends, but you were for many years. You were the godmother for Robyn and Chuck’s son. She was there for your last birthday, and was able to say goodbye to you.

Stockton State was your choice for college. Those were some of the best years you ever had. You joined the Jewish Student Union; you were the student chair on the committee for the new Holocaust Center , worked as a Resident Aide (staying up all night at times trying to talk kids out of suicide, drugs and alcohol). You made a real impact there – at graduation the President of the college stopped the procession to give you a hug and kiss.

From there you went onto Brandeis for your Masters Degree in Jewish Communal Service. You couldn’t wait to graduate and start doing the work that was so important to you.

Your first job was at Rutgers Hillel in New Brunswick . While working there you met David B., your male best friend for the last 11 years. He was with you through the four years you fought so hard to survive.

Other jobs followed after that, but the University of Delaware Hillel where you worked as the youngest Executive Director they ever had, was the one that remained closest to your heart. The students were “your kids”, and you loved being with them. So many of them kept in touch with you through the years.

You met the love of your life while you were working in Delaware . Niv did not arrive on a white horse, but in a blue Jetta. Your first date never ended. We remember when you told us you met someone special, and when we were introduced to our future son-in-law. You had the wedding you both wanted and it was a wonderful day for everyone. You were so happy that you glowed all day. We will never forget the joy of that very special time.

The day you were diagnosed with breast cancer was one of the darkest days of our lives. It was unfathomable that our wonderful daughter had such a devastating disease. You fought hard for four long years, and along with Niv who took such good care of you, and his family who were always there for you, a battle was waged like none other. The staff at the Cancer Institute of NJ and the nurses and doctors at Robert Wood Johnson Hospital worked so hard to save your life.

You were upset that even though you never turned down a treatment, procedure, nor drug you seemed to be losing the battle. We talked about this, and I said you gave the doctors so much new information during these four years that you will be part of the cure. You will have a part in saving other young women from going through what you’ve been through. Many lives will benefit from your struggle. It was not in vain.

One of the most special relationships you had was with your maternal Grandmother. You were her first grandchild, and your bond with each other continued throughout your life. She was there for all your milestones, and in countless ways throughout this battle. Her final gift to you is to set up a Fund for an Outreach Program in your memory. It will educate young women at an early age on how to take care of their health, and give them the information that breast cancer is a random disease that also strikes the young.

We have always been honored to have you for our daughter, however short the time was. You were a gift that we will always cherish. We will honor your memory and live the rest of our lives in a way that will make you proud of us.

All our love,

Mom and Dad