Social Distancing Doesn’t Mean Emotional Distancing

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Social Distancing
Doesn’t Mean EmotionalDistancing

by Susan Whitmore

The "New Normal" Is Not New to Us

I have been asking myself for days, What can I say to everyone that might be helpful or meaningful that they haven't already heard a thousand times by now? Do I just go ahead with the regular newsletter so you get a break from hearing about the coronavirus, or do I share something with you that might be different than what you have been hearing?

Then I realized how many times over the last few days
I have heard those words we are already
so very familiar with --

New Normal

We keep hearing the words "new normal" everywhere we turn. Yet we who have lost someone we love or who have been through any life-altering experience are deeply familiar with that concept, aren't we? We've been creating that new normal for days, weeks, months and years. We know that when something monumental occurs in life it changes not only our lives forever, but also who we are.

One thing we also know after the death of someone we love is that there are simply certain things that are not within our control--an often painful and rude awakening. It can take us a long time to embrace the idea that there are many things over which we simply have no control. So at some point, we take a deep breath and ask ourselves, "Okay, what can I do?"

So what do we do with regard to
this pandemic?

We look at what we CAN
control and do that.

Like taking a drive with
your whole family.

I know I'm not sharing rocket science with you here. Yet I also know that for many of us who are already in a place of grieving and loss that this pandemic can be a trigger. It can also be difficult when we have so much downtime on our hands--time to think and remember things we don't want to think about and remember. So it's important that, since we are here and having to hunker down, we might as well surrender to it and make it the best darn hunkering down ever!

Ideas: Catch up on movies, be with your family in ways you aren't usually able to, go for a walk outside and really take in what you are seeing, bake and leave some on your neighbor's doorstep, drive around and look at areas you've never seen before in your neighborhood, splurge on a delicious dessert, have popcorn and watch a movie, work in your garden, sit outside and enjoy the outdoors, play games, read books, listen to music, be creative by writing, building, making something, and whatever else you can think of. Pretend you are on a stay-cation. And definitely get any government assistance you need!

Stay Emotionally Connected

Social distancing does not mean emotional distancing. Never before has it been so easy to stay connected. This is probably the most important of all right now, next to doing our part to stay healthy.

There are so many free programs available. To stay connected, call people to chat, use Zoom or Skype to see family and friends, send emails and text messages, take photos and send to each other. Just stay connected every day with others. We know the power of connection when we are grieving, and it's also true now. This is one of those times where everyone needs to stay connected to everyone else. Just like with grief, we will do better together.

Sending you our love and healing thoughts. Stay well and stay connected.

Love,
Susan and Your griefHaven Family