GriefHaven Blog | Insights and Stories of Healing

February 12, 2022

Forever Trying to Rescue You

I love you, Dad. Those are the last words you said to me the day before you killed yourself. They're also the last words you said to me in the first letter I wrote to you in this magazine, 24 years ago. Back then you were "Robbie" and I was "Daddy," and I never thought I could possibly love you more than I did. Then again, I never imagined I'd be writing this letter to you now.

July 4, 2025

Depressive symptoms may hasten memory decline in older people

The researchers concluded that depression and memory were closely interrelated, with both seeming to affect each other. The researchers concluded that depression and memory were closely interrelated, with both seeming to affect each other. Senior author Dr Dorina Cadar, of the UCL Department of Behavioral Science & Health and Brighton and Sussex Medical School, said: "It is known that depression and poor memory often occur together in older people, but what comes first has been unclear.

October 19, 2020

When you lose a child, it is alright to . . .

When you lose a child, it is alright to . . .

Scream in the shower;
Yell in the car;
Howl at the moon;
Cry anywhere you like;
Misplace your glasses;
Lose the car;

July 13, 2018

A Day That Changed My Life (Yet Once Again)

Susan Whitmore, CEO, Meets With Fire Fighters A Day That Changed My Life (Yet Once Again) I was asked by Captain Bob Bates to come to the fire station and talk about griefHaven. He said, “We need you…we need to know about your organization and what you do.” So I went armed with documents, grief pins, and other bits of information to share with them. But what started out as a sharing about griefHaven turned into a grief sharing from the firefighters about their own PTSD, their own trauma and grief over all that they have experienced over the many years they have fought fires, tried to save lives, walked into homes where people have died–where children have died, tried to console families, worked untold hours for the betterment of our communities, and so much more… Most of us have no idea what firefighters do for us. We think they […]

May 26, 2020

How To Help Children After Losing A Parent

Losing a parent feels insurmountable at any age. Our series helps you face it ― from the practical logistics to the existential questions about death and dying today. No matter how old you are, the death of a family member can bring up a range of difficult and often overwhelming emotions: shock, deep sadness, confusion, anxiousness and anger, just to name a few. For bereaved children dealing with the loss of an important figure like a parent, these intense feelings can be particularly hard to process.

October 19, 2020

Please See Me Through My Tears

You asked, “How are you doing?”
As I told you, tears came to my eyes…
and you looked away
and quickly began to talk again.
All the attention you had give me drained away.

May 1, 2012

Educational Event – Mary Crest Manor

Susan Whitmore – Educational Event Mary Crest Manor – Culver City, CA – May 2012

May 27, 2020

Addiction – Important Brain Reward Pathway Confirmed By Researcher

Details of the role of glutamate, the brain's excitatory chemical, in a drug reward pathway have been identified for the first time. This discovery in rodents shows that stimulation of glutamate neurons in a specific brain region leads to activation of dopamine-containing neurons in the brain's reward circuit. Details of the role of glutamate, the brain's excitatory chemical, in a drug reward pathway have been identified for the first time.

October 19, 2020

A HOLIDAY MEMORIAL

AS WE LIGHT THESE FOUR CANDLES IN HONOR OF YOU,

WE LIGHT ONE FOR OUR GRIEF, ONE FOR OUR COURAGE,

ONE FOR OUR MEMORIES AND ONE FOR OUR LOVE.

THIS CANDLE REPRESENTS OUR GRIEF. THE PAIN OF

LOSING YOU IS INTENSE. IT REMINDS US OF THE DEPTH

October 19, 2020

All Is Well

Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped into the next room,
I am I, and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still,
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used.

June 16, 2020

The Health Benefit of Tears with Timeless Reunion Photos

For over twenty years as a physician, I've witnessed, time and again, the healing power of tears. Tears are your body's release valve for stress, sadness, grief, anxiety, and frustration. Also, you can have tears of joy, say when a child is born, or tears of relief when a difficulty has passed. In my own life, I am grateful when I can cry. It feels cleansing, a way to purge pent-up emotions so they don't lodge in my body as stress symptoms, such as fatigue or pain. To stay healthy and release stress, I encourage my patients to cry. For both men and women, tears are a sign of courage, strength, and authenticity.

July 28, 2020

Gift

I became a mother when Riley was born. I became a poet when he died. His death and writing poetry are intertwined like the malformed vessels of his AVM and his brain—rooted, inseparable as a banyan and its host tree. If Riley hadn’t died, I would not be writing poetry. I wouldn’t have survived the tsunami of his death without that lifeline. In the hospital, when we were given the news that Riley would not survive his third bleed, a nurse whispered in my ear. I don’t remember what she looked like, but I remember her ethereal embrace and the way she placed my hair behind my ear, and whispered, “You’ve been given a gift.”